my 1 and only post

2006-06-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

lols this is a consolidation of everything about me

ok here goes

About Me

AKA : nitrous oxide , master chief
DOB : 2881988
btw heres my name in binary

> 0110010001100001011101100110100101100100

go decode la

my name in jap cool eh ??
It is pronounced "DEIVIDDO". (Consonants are pronounced more or less the same way as in English. "I" sounds like ee in meet, but shorter. "E" sounds like e in met. "O" sounds like o in old.)

generally im cool person tat like 2 play games ,nothing pretty much bothers me though
i think tat some ppl lives r 2 stress though they shd relax man chill out sometimes
i can cheer ppl up if any 1 is down just tok 2 me u will feel better
love 2 listen 2 other ppl problems (oso donno y)

sonata arctica

music song lyrics

final fantasy 8 lyrics

song lyrics

HERE ARE SOME QUIZ I HAVE TAKEN

WHERE MY SOUL WAS BORN :

Your soul was born in Ice.
Some might think that water and ice is the same, but that's not true. Ice is what becomes of water when water gets hurt. Your element was once water, but something happened and your element turned to ice, which resulted in you soul being born in ice. Maybe someone close to you died or someone close to you betrayed you in some way. Either way, you are now a completely different person from who you were before. You are now shy and drawn back. You want people to notice you but youre afraid to make friends. You don't want to be hurt again. Depressed and mournful thoughts is eating you up inside. You want to scream but you just keep holding it all inside in fear of being rejected. Take a chance! There's people out there and they want to be friends with you.

hmm rather true

WHAT MY HANDWRITING SAYS ABOUT ME :

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action.
You are self-confident and like to bring attention to yourself.

hmm true again

WHAT IS YOUR TRUE ELEMENT :

Your element is Air: Carefree, lovable, fun and childish. Aren't you cute! Your just full of childhood spunk and happiness! Hey who said being young was a bad thing? You have a keen understanding of what's good in life and choose to remain happy rather than get too upset over things. Life is fun, who wants to be troubled by grown-up problems? Being as capable of love as you are you will make a wonderful parent if and when you choose to grow up. Love is a mystery because you only want friends not love interests, games are better than relationships with the opposite sex. You have what everyone is searching for, that so called 'fountain of youth' deep inside. You can come across as naive and childish at times. But who cares what they think, lets go play tag!

hmm true

WHAT TYPE OF MYTHICAL SPRITE ARE YOU :

Fun loving, childish, innocent and pure.
You are a sprite of the Air: Fun loving and childish your naive nature only enhances how truly cute you are! You may come off as too childish but only because your not burdened with all the rules and regulations of adulthood. You are carefree most of the time spending your days playing tag or naming all the clouds you see in the sky. You are generally kind to everyone because you have lots of love and happiness to share! Making friends comes easy because they strive for the innocence you possess but be careful, being as nice and kind hearted as you are people will try to manipulate your nature if they have not already. Don't ever let anyone mold you to their standards although I doubt anyone could.

hmm true

WHAT FUZZY ANIMAL ARE YOU :

Your a chinchilla:
Super cute and adorable, groomed to be the fuzzy master!
Your the FUZZIEST!!!!!!!! You have so many layers of fuzz you cant even find your own feet. Your cute and proud of it, so fuzzy and outgoing, no wonder people like you! And just look at those whiskers! =^_^=

true except i dont have whiskers and i can see my own feet =)

WHO IS YOUR SOUL GUARDIAN :

A demon watches over you. You may find yourself at times wishing those you dislike dead. Sometimes, you may find yourself being jealous. Anger can often get the best of you. You are a unique individual. Overall though, you are a kind person with a big heart. Your demon is always watching over you. Though a demon may seem like evil is watching you, it is not true. Your demon is on neither side; good nor evil. Your demon is on your side. Your demon is constantly protecting and guiding you down the right path for you in life.

true

WHICH OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS ARE YOU :

You are the fourth deadly sin: Anger. Anger is another sin of the Devil, and one of immense importance and fiery power. The consequence of this inflaming and indwelling passion is to feel vengeance in one's heart. This sin escalates to rage, obliterating all but negativity within body, mind and soul and results in murder and war. Often seen in icons, Anger is a creature stabbing himself in the heart with a knife.
Your Devil: Satan.
Your Animal: The Boar.
Your opposite: Patience.
Your element: Darkness.

WHAT TYPE OF TEA ARE YOU :

Chamomile Tea...
You are Chamomile Tea.
Your an original! Helpful to anyone in need and always willing to lend a hand, you take action but not through violence. People listen to you for you have a knack for giving wonderful advice! Many look up to you and you try your best not to let them down. You have many friends steadfast or no who consider themselves lucky to be near you. You may have been hurt in the past but you dont let that stand in your way! You have a wonderful outlook on life and try to see the good in people which is an awesome gift!

true again

WHAT KIND OF TREE ARE YOU

Pine Tree, The Particularity
Loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life
comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, many disappointments till it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.

rather true

WHAT DOES UR BIRTH MONTH REAVEALS ABOUT YOU

August

Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends

this is rather true though except that illness part i only fall sick once every 1 or 2 years and its only for a day the next day im fighting fit

HERES A ILLUSION IMAGE

If you watch the above images from your seat in front of the computer, Mr.Angry is on the left, and Mrs.Calm is on the right.
Get up from your seat, and move back a couple of feet, and PRESTO!! they switch places!!
I believe this illusion was created by Phillippe G.Schyns and Aude Oliva of the Univ. of Glasgow.
This proves that we may not be seeing what's actually there, all the time!!
I do not know how they generated this fascinating image !, and I believe no-one else is able to generate anything similar in Photoshop. I know it has something to do with "low-pass" and "high-pass" filters, but the details??

GET A LAUGH

Cycle Of Life

At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants
At age 12 success is having friends
At age 16 success is having a driver's licence
At age 35 success is having money
At age 50 success is having money
At age 70 success is having a driver's licence
At age 75 success is having friends
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants

2 fishermen go on a fishing trip they rent all the equipment they need : car , reels , rods , rowboats , wading suits and even a log cabin in the woods.
they catch no fish for days
on the last days of their vacation one of them manages to land 1 fish
as they're driving home , they're really depressed
1 guy says wryly : " do you realise that this 1 lousy fish cost us $1500
hearing this , the other guy says :"wow ! it's a good thing we didn't
catch more

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon ?
>The food is terrific , but there's no atmosphere

What do you call a dog with no legs ?
>Doesn't matter he ain't gonna come anyway

What do you say to a hitchhiker with 1 leg ?
>Hop in

Why did Dracula go to the shipyard
>He was lookin for a blood vessel

Some "HEALTH TIPS"

Aren't fried food bad for you ?
>food are fried these days in vegatable oil , how could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Is chocolate bad for me ?
>HELLO ...Cocoa beans...another vegetable!!! its the best feel-good food around

Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle ?
>Hey! round is a shape

Requesting a three day pass

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

Change your course now

This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.

Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

My men are very brave

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"

"Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."

"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too."

"I'd like to see that."

So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:

"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

Speaking with the general

It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.

A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"

The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"

Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!".

The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"

The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just a private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."

The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The General continued "I got this dog for my wife."

The Private simply said "Good trade Sir!"

The Colonel's Order

A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS:

"Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area; an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it."

EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER:

"By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years."

COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT:

"By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel will give another order, something which occurs once every 75 years."

LIEUTENANT TO SERGEANT:

"Tomorrow at 2000 hours, the Colonel will appear in the theater with Halley's comet, something which happens every 75 years. If it rains, the Colonel will order the comet into the battalion area."

SERGEANT TO SQUAD:

"When it rains tomorrow at 2000 hours, the phenomenal 75-year-old General Halley, accompanied by the Colonel, will drive his comet through the battalion area theater in fatigues."

Reward these soldiers for their work

A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis.

Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated.

What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll it be?"

Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!" General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds"

Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!"

General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds"

Soldier 3: "The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!"

General: "That's a strange but fair request, son!

As the general begins the measurement: "What! Son, where is your left pinky?"

Soldier 3: "Falkland Island, sahr!"

A young naval student

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.

"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"

"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.

"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"

"Throw out another anchor, sir."

"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.

"Throw out another anchor, sir."

"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"

"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."

Discuss track types

Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first Marine said "those are deer tracks."

The second Marine said "No, those are elk tracks."

The third Marine said "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."

The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.

A mental hospital

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.

"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."

Psychiatrist phone

Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic, don't press anything.

If you are anal retentive, please hold.

Promoting an office

A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance.

But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why !

The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words :

Psycho-
the-
rapist.

It's great to be a guy

Reasons why it's great to be a guy

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Monday Night Football.

Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

You can open all your own jars.

Old friends don't annoy you if you've lost or gained weight.

Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

Your last name stays put.

You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

You can kill your own food.

The garage is all yours.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

You never have to clean the toilet.

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

The National College Cheerleading Championship

None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

If you're 34 and single nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

Flowers fix everything.

You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.

You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me.

You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

You get to jump up and slap stuff.

One mood, all the time.

You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

Same work....more pay.

Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

You don't mooch off others' desserts.

The remote is yours and yours alone.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

ESPN's sports center.

You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"

Baywatch

There is always a game on somewhere.

Compare the genders

Differences Between Men & Women

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Computers are female

The top six reasons computers must be female:

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as

"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.

Short gender jokes

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.

Why do women have smaller feet than men ? So they can stand closer to the sink

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't...there's a clock on the oven!

I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"

What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?

1) No mind.
2) No business.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" and I said, "Dust!"

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes-there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage & after.

A stolen credit card

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Question and answer blonde jokes

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

Three women on death row

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

Each man gives a story

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."

some Xtra links

google proves that moon is made up of CHEESE

zoom in all the way

tis is my fren's web page got some bikes stuff

use mozilla firefox , internet explorer sux

download here

play ur video with universal media player

VLC Player

use ACE mega codecs pack for playing video this codecs also contains some media player

download ACE mega codecs pack here

use CCCP another good codecs pack

download CCCP here

for .mkv files use this

Matrosca pack

JUST SOME RANDOM PICTURES

BE THE FIRST MOUSE ON MARS

TAKING A WRONG TURN

Add a refrigerator and you'll never have to leave your desk

the long history of men's evolution

WTF -_-'''

run boy run
nice invention

tis solves problems in which theres no toilet paper in cases u need it the most
rather common in singapore public toilets

lame sign

here are some anime download listing
just puting up some of it i still got quite alot
if u wan look for anime u can try tellin me i can help u look 4 it
note* if auto link doesnt work try copy and pasting the links into ur browsers
nah i put naruto 1st

Naruto (Running)

my blog